I have been craving family time for a while now. Many years ago I put on my ‘life wishlist’ that I wanted a job where I’m jetting off around the world which, to an extent, has come to fruition with frequent trips to China over the last few years. While I love this and I love to explore and adventure on my own, I miss the comfort of time with my little family.
I have also come to realise that my children are independent souls who follow their own passions and ‘get on’ with their lives without me. This leaves me in a parenting paradox as I feel liberated and proud yet somewhat sad. I’m losing my babies to adulthood. I’ve mourned the fact that my emotionally independent and resourceful children really don’t ‘need’ me – other than for mum taxi duties and meals more complex than 2-minute noodles.
So, this year saw our first full family holiday in a few years. It was the kids ‘choose your own adventure’ Christmas present. It was everything I could have wished for and more. For two weeks we’ve lived 24/7 in each others pockets. Making decisions about food, sleeping, activities, adventures, wifi passwords and roadtrip snacks. It’s reaffirmed to me that my kids are easy going and happy to go with the flow, they aren’t picky (unless it’s to do with whose turn it is to…do anything). And they are actually really good company 😱. We laugh at each other, gang up on each other, get cranky with each other and get on with it together.
However, there are 13 lessons I’ve learned from road tripping together:
1. Traveling is expensive, fun is free
In one day, in Queenstown we spent over $1000 on food and activities. The activities were fun and the food was yum. But across the trip we laughed hardest at John’s stupid dad jokes, we relished playing the highly competitive card games and riotous table tennis tournaments, bantered over bottle flipping challenges and minty wrapper tear-a-thons, we made jokes about dodgy lodges and we simply had fun wandering around new places…together.
2. Farting, snoring and burping are contentious issues
Let’s just say the blame game is big in my family. The offenders tend to have serial killer liar skills. The farts in a small car were deadly.
3. Fear is a funny character
Jasmine was out-of-her-skin terrified when we decided to do a night time tour of a creepy old cemetery in Hokitika, cause we really do make our own fun in this family (weirdo’s?) yet she’s the first to tiptoe to the edge of the bungy platform, giggling through the whole experience (as opposed to her squealing mummabear). Hayden, on the hand, takes his time to work up the courage and likes to do his own little countdown into jumping off bridges into pristine glacial water. Looking back, when did we become the crazy courageous parents who encourage our kids to ‘just give it a go’?!
4. ‘Old people smell’ is not a good sign
Need I say more. If it smells like someone died (long ago), oh, and it’s a former mental asylum then it’s best to go with the gut feeling of ‘no’ than to debate the smell vs cost scenario.
5. Meals become a fun challenge
Eating on a road trip becomes an adventure in itself. Our forte became chip sandwiches; peanut butter and banana sandwiches; salami, rice and salad dinners; and every bakery item possible, all made in a production line throughout the car OR with the roof as a table.
6. We all need space
As much as we love each others company (I can see the kids rolling their eyes) we could appreciate if the headphones were on it was a sign. ‘Leave me alone or I’ll bite your head off and vomit my explicit need for space down your throat’.
7. Accommodation can be luxurious… with imagination
I’ve decided when I grow up I want to be a hobbit and move to Hobbiton. It is serious luxury. Fresh air, rolling fields, tiny little yards full of fresh food and doorways into the depths of your imagination.
8. Following a ‘sign’ can lead to beautiful discoveries
You know that gut feeling? Go with it. It can lead you to places you would’ve never found in a guide book. And if it doesn’t, the anticipation of finding a hidden gem that turns out to be a flop can be a hilarious travel anecdote for years to come.
9. Op shopping is an enlightening experience
The recycled remains of clothes and wares tells you a lot about a small town. We made some fun and completely unnecessary purchases in the name of charity. Trying to get the most out of $10 each sees the competitive streak in certain family members rear it’s bargain hunting head!
10. Podcasts are awesome for road trips
We listened to the entire series of ‘Up and Vanished’ while driving. We were peers in listening to this podcast. None of us knew more than the other and we all listened to (and argued with) each others opinions and justifications. We paused it many times to discuss things and often would ‘just listen to the last 10 minutes’ while parked out front of a cafe with grumbly tummies but more eager minds.
11. Sometimes the journey is better than the destination
New Zealand is a pretty sexy place. There are so many quaint, scenic towns but handing navigation over to the kids or making them responsible for finding stops along the way makes for a journey with depth not just beauty.
12. Parental ‘pashing’ is a powerful tool
Threatening to pash in public is a bargaining chip we used often. Like any good threat, you need to make sure you actually follow through. While the utter embarrassment of public parent pashing was a grand source of amusement for us, it’s also nice to show our kids what love looks like outside the normal peck-n-rush off lifestyle.
13. Laughing and bladder control are essential items
I think all professional resumes should include your worldly toilet experiences. What you’re willing to endure in the name of that essential excretion is a sign of your personal grit. Skanky travelers don’t seem to care when it comes to pit toilet or shared kitchen hygiene. I swear we literally saw shit splattered around both. I’m proud to say that our kids understand the importance of etiquette and cleanliness in shared spaces, even if they’ve had to learn/ experience it the hard way.
The General Itinerary
Queenstown – Cadrona – Wanaka – Blue Pools – Haast – Lake Matheson – Fox Glacier – Hokitika – Greymouth – Pancake Rocks – Nelson – Wellington – Taupo – Rotarua – Matamata – Raglan – Cathedral Cove – Hot Water Beach – Auckland
Activities – Bungy jumping, jet boating, hiking, suspension bridges, flying foxes, lake swims, river surfing, glacier viewing (kinda sorta), glow worm hunting, cafes, galleries, seal spotting, ferry rides, surfing iconic beaches, parent night out to see punk rock band, hot pools, zorb balling, getting our hobbit on, black water caving, hot water beach hopping…and so many laughs upon laughs.
What lessons have you learned traveling with your family?
