She was floating through life, her sails were bellowed by the passing winds, but her direction was a mystery. She toils with the idea that it’s all fine sailing merely to enjoy the journey, but without a map, how will she navigate the turbulent waters or power through the calm seas? A destination was called for, enough of riding the ebb and flow, adrift in whatever current is strongest. Her mind again wandered, yet she was determined to plot the coordinates of her life for the coming year.
#FromwhereIsit my life has been turned inside out in the last 12 months. The constant swell on the horizon threatens my stability. My wise hubby suggests that I’m still immensely affected by grief, and I can’t argue with him. I feel grief for the profound loss of my life pillar, my dad; grief for my mum losing the love of her life; grief for my siblings not sharing moments and stealing my dads affection; grief for my kids, nieces and nephews not experiencing more of poppy; grief for all the people who knew the treasure my dad was. My anchor is gone and I’m adrift.
I have realised that I have my regular to-do list, which gives me a sense of daily achievement, but I have no goals. I have some vague dreams of things I want to do but they come and go with the wind. Sometimes causing little waves that push me along, but no true terra firma. There’s no list. Nothing set in stone. No aim or destination.
I came to this realisation when a friend asked me to commit to a full IRONMAN race in 12 months time. Jokes and banter aside, I had to admit that I had no idea where I’ll be, what I’ll be doing or who I’ll even be as a person to make such a big financial, time and physical commitment.
#Fromwhereisit it’s time to drop the anchor and scribe my goals. I’ve decided to make goals for travel, career, finances and investment, relationships and health. It’s freakin’ hard. Like anything in life, as is bandied around – use it or lose it! I haven’t set big goals in a little while, so my hull is a little rusty. I actually don’t know what I really want. I almost feel like pirating someone else’s goals. It’s weird to feel this weak in my convictions. Today is a start, but I will take the time to really harbour thoughts of some grandiose goals over the coming weeks.
While I love to overshare my thoughts, feelings, experiences and random epiphanies, I’m keeping these goals private for now. Partly because some are highly personal, but mostly because I feel vulnerable. No doubt they will emerge over time, but for now they are in my own little treasure trove and I’ve got to formulate the map to unlock them.
Do you have goals, big or little?
Are you willing to share your goals with the world?
xk
